Everyone walks down the aisle dreaming of their happily ever after, but keeping a happy marriage is often easier said than done. Not all marriages are perfect; it takes time and effort to build a strong marriage. Mutual attraction, love, trust, responsibilities, communication, conversations, and priorities, all contribute to a happy life and a happy marriage. It will undoubtedly be a bumpy ride, but the important thing is to learn from your mistakes and emerge stronger. Here are some suggestions for having a happy, successful, and content marriage:
Start focusing on each other’s strengths
Creating balance in your marriage may be difficult, but it isn’t impossible. There may be days when you are irritated with your partner or find it difficult to communicate your thoughts. There may be days when you feel like pulling each other’s hair. Which you definitely shouldn’t do. Everybody has different areas where they are strong and weak. It doesn’t help when you keep criticizing and pointing out each other’s flaws because we all generally are aware of them. To make a marriage work, one must accept all of their partner’s strengths and weaknesses.
Successful life partners give the relationship their all. Numerous couples have a 50/50 attitude. They each expect the other to contribute 50%. This can be problematic. When you are concerned with ensuring that your spouse does “equal” amounts, it leads to scorekeeping, fault finding, bitterness, resentment, and quarrels. You should talk (appropriately) about issues if you believe you are being treated unfairly, but expecting everyone does a certain amount is a recipe for disaster. Instead, make it your goal for both of you to give 110%. One of the best ways to be unselfish in a relationship is to always put your partner first. Before you consider your own, consider your partner’s needs and desires. To be selfless means to believe that your partner must be satisfied and happy. Selflessness is the decision to forego what you want, to help someone else get what they want.
Preserve Your Individuality
Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t have dreams and priorities of your own.
Instead of suppressing them, cultivate them and use your own time to work on yourself and your desires. To be a better person in your life and a good partner in your relationship, you must strive to maintain a strong sense of independence and autonomy, as well as a well-developed point of view. With this ongoing goal, you can continue to cultivate and strengthen your unique traits, as well as behaviour that reflects your interests and ideals. You must be careful in your relationship not to look for someone to fill in the void in your life or to define or affirm you. Your individuality is what brings benefits to the marriage, and keeping it alive and intact is critical for your inherent peace and the health of your marriage. When two people fall in love, they see themselves and each other as distinct individuals with their ideas, interests, and friends. Their differences make them appealing to one another. Maintain the interests that were important to you prior to getting involved in your relationship.
Arguments between partners are common and completely normal
To begin with, even happy couples disagree. Studies show that many couples feel more passionate toward each other after a fight, as long as they can resolve and work out the issue at hand. According to the study, happy couples are good at problem-solving in their disagreements while avoiding “negative and coercive exchanges.” Marital fights can help couples communicate better and teach them an important lesson about maintaining a healthy relationship. It is beneficial to occasionally reach at agreements and disagree. It’s crucial to find a solution rather than letting the problem become unfixable. Communication is the key to a happy marriage, so listening to your partner and sharing your thoughts with them are both crucial.
We value kindness the most during difficult times
It is critical to understand and respect your partner, rather than criticize their actions.
Being judgmental of them or their actions attacks your marriage and can be extremely damaging. Instead, you can talk to them calmly and explain your point of view while listening to theirs. This allows you to diffuse a heated situation with calm and peace, at the same time it shows your partner that you appreciate and respect them and your marriage. Kindness strengthens relationships. Independent studies have shown that kindness (along with emotional maturity) is the most important predictor of marital satisfaction and stability. Kindness makes each partner feel valued, understood, and validated—in other words, loved.
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Show each other appreciation
More often than you might imagine, appreciation in marriage keeps the lines of communication open and makes you feel good about your spouse. One of the keys to a happy marriage is showing each other that we appreciate each other. Appreciating your partner’s smallest of the efforts to make you happy, shows them your respect and love. Nobody likes being taken for granted. Couples engaged in a healthy relationship make it a habit to express gratitude to each other every day. It is very easy to stop noticing the good things your spouse does and concentrate on the bad, or to accept everything your spouse does as “normal” and not notice it. Don’t take your partner for granted, this will only widen the rift between you and your partner.
Psychologists believe that there is a magic ratio of positive vs. negative interactions that forecasts the health of a marriage. The magic number is 5 to 1. At least five positive interactions are required to balance out one negative interaction. Our brains are programmed to dwell on the negative. Negative news and interactions have a much longer-lasting impression on us than positive ones. If a couple is constantly fighting and the conflict is full of negative interactions, this is not a good thing. Every marriage goes through highs and lows as the couple makes their journey through life. Even in tough moments, or perhaps especially during challenging times, make an effort to lift each other. It’s a positive interaction every time you stop to thank your spouse for something or to let them know you appreciate them. It shows them that you admire, love, and care about them and do not take them for granted.
Have a good time together!
While it is necessary to not completely rely on your partner to maintain a happy marriage, it is also necessary to share common experiences. Introducing new activities and interests into a relationship can help to strengthen it. While each person needs to develop personally, it’s also crucial for couples to spend time together and accommodate each other’s needs. Your relationship gets stronger as a result of time spent together. You can appreciate and comprehend your partner’s feelings if you do this. These memories last a lifetime, adding zest to a joyful marriage and ensuring its success.
Set aside time each week to spend with each other and have fun. Owing to the hustle-bustle of the hectic work life it becomes even more necessary that you spend some quality time with your partner. It does not need to be expensive. A walk or a trip to the park can help a couple some times to reconnect as a pair. Having breakfast in bed or cooking together can be some fun activities to enjoy the company of your partner.
Couples who regularly celebrate the good times have greater levels of commitment, closeness, trust, and relationship. Don’t take life too seriously. Have fun and laugh. Learning to laugh during hard times, at ourselves and our foibles, and at the silliness that comes our way will make life much more pleasant. It will help your relationship as well. When you can laugh together even during the tough issues, you will find that you are better prepared for whatever situations come your way.
Have a higher goal for the community’s welfare as a couple
When a husband and wife are constantly focused on each other, fights erupt. After the honeymoon period, when everything is perfect, flaws begin to emerge all too soon. Again, when the husband and wife are not focused on each other and their life goals differ, communication and trust break down. Furthermore, when the goals are only to satisfy personal desires, there is little fulfillment. Relationships become more compassionate, healthy and loving when their visions are aligned to a higher goal and their motive resonates with the welfare of society.
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